Socrates: Psychology is a field created by idiots who wanted to be philosophers like me but didn’t have the aptitude.

Psychiatrist: I’m a psychiatrist, a medical doctor.

Socrates: Trained, some would say indoctrinated, in the methods of behavioural therapy developed by psychologists.

Psychiatrist: Methods with a high success rate in treating people who need help.

Socrates: If you treated your patients well it’s because you cared about them, or rather you “cared about the sanctity of human life,” lest you be accused of being human and crossing a professional boundary.

Psychiatrist: I maintain a professional distance to protect both myself and my patients from ethical and legal ramifications.

Socrates: Mostly legal right?

Psychiatrist: Right.

Socrates: But most of them are literally crazy right? No one wants to maintain a personal relationship with whackjobs.

Psychiatrist: If they show signs of extreme instability I refer them to specialists.

Socrates: A path that leads some of them to end up institutionalised.

Psychiatrist: Where hopefully they can be rehabilitated.

Socrates: So the drugs you push don’t really work.

Psychiatrist: Like I said, we have a high success rate. We’re not perfect.

Socrates: Not even close. No need to quote statistics retrieved from brainless studies predetermined to make certain conclusions.

Psychiatrist:

Socrates: Do shrinks see other shrinks when they can’t handle their work and they become as unstable as their patients?

Psychiatrist: Yes, I sometimes treat other, less experienced doctors.

Socrates: And this doesn’t seem ironic to you?

Psychiatrist: I suppose, but I don’t see your point.

Socrates: I know. The word “psyche” is derived from the Ancient Greek word for “soul.”

Psychiatrist: I’m aware, but again, what’s your point?

Socrates: You can’t treat the soul with drugs.

Psychiatrist: The soul is an invention of the mind.

Socrates: The mind is an abstraction based on the soul. The soul exists in and of itself.

Psychiatrist: Evolutionary biology and neuroscience disagrees with you.

Socrates: Based on axiomatic assumptions made, again, for predetermined conclusions. At some point it can’t be explained any further. You have to experience it. If you keep thinking we’re intelligent primates who just stumbled upon advanced sentience through dumb luck, I can’t help you.