29. Poor and Stupid (Season 14, Episode 08)

Cartman drinks vaginal anti-itch cream in an attempt to become a Nascar driver. Only the weak ending prevents this episode from attaining masterpiece status, but the scenes leading up to this conclusion are some of the best in TV history. You read correctly. This episode also offends Nascar fans and point blank rednecks, but so what? They’re fucking stupid.

“I need to get stupid, Butters. I’m getting all the blood to rush to my head and watching a marathon of Two and a Half Men.” -Cartman

“I’m gonna drive and I’m gonna go fast and I’m gonna turn to the left sometimes.” -Cartman

“All those ladies have stinky vaginas?” -Butters

“I found out this Obama wants to put a bigger tax on gasoline. What the fuck is up with that?” -Cartman

“Fuck you Danica Patrick. You ain’t half as dumb as me.” -Cartman

“You dumb bitch. Think I can’t steer left better than you?” -Cartman

“She got raped a lot.” -Butters

“That’s fucking gay as hell.” -Cartman